Posers are, at least on paper, worse than losers. Because at least losers are tru to themselves. Posers are losers who are pretending to be otherwise. But being posers make life difficult for themselves, because they’re living lives that aren’t real. They’re like Jake Scully, pretending to be something he’s not. He’s a human posing as Na’vi. O course like in the movie, if you play your part well, you might actually end up actually being that which you once only pretended to be.
1. Shaggilid – I once had an officemate who would mix a sachet of 3-in-1 coffee in a Starbucks mug every morning. Worse, he would walk around the whole building carrying that Starbucks mug knowing that the building has a Starbucks branch on its ground floor.
2. Jedi Mster – When we asked where we’ll have coffee, a friend said: “Siyempre sa favorite hangout ko, Starbucks! I’ll get a medium kape chino.”
3. Blitzkrieg – Girl 1: “Grabe, I’m the biggest Twilight fan!” Girl 2: “Sige nga, what’s Edward’s last name?” Girl 1: “Duh. Eh di COLLINS!”
4. No name – A pa-sosy ingglisera girl: “Grabe, last minute decision! Super sperm of the moment!”
5. Gandako – A pa-sosy trying hard girl at the supermarket fruit section: “Miss, are your grapes boneless?”
6. Boknoi – A girl at our office: “You know what I hate? People who can’t speak English but who keep speaking it anyway. It’s really my PET BEEF!”
7. Forg – People who always have a DSLR hanging around their neck, but you never see them take even a single shot.
8. Forg – Mga taong pupunta sa Starbucks, not to buy coffee, but to take a photo for her profile pic.
9. Kesibi – I bought this Adidas ADMU and DLSU shirts and jackets. I wear DLSU when I go to Taft and Manila area, and ADMU when I visit the Katipunan area.
10. Chino – In college my evil sister would wear my class ring, para mukha siyang may boyfriend na Lasalista.
11. No name – I once asked a guy wearing a Che Guevarra shirt: “Do you know who that is?” He answered: “I forgot his name, but he’s a rocker!”
12. TwistedSaint – I once heard a know-it-all say, “Let’s watch the Indian movie, Slamdunk Millionaire!”
13. Dindin – On my sister’s profile, she put under “favorite TV show”: Gossip Girls.
14. Mamsy – When the pastor decried the evils of internet cafes, the woman beside me asked: “Oh no, like Starbucks!”
15. Tipsy – We had an officemate who always had the latest gadget like ipod and laptop, pero laging hinihimatay sa gutom. Apparently she’s stopped eating just to keep up her lifestyle.
16. Cha Park – Speaking of UP Manila, the ones who recruited me to a sorority and clamored against brain drain, the ones who’d drag me to rallies, were the first ones who migrated to the U.S. after graduation.
17. RC and Cess – While watching CSI, my know-it-all uncle exclaimed: “Favorite ko yang McGyver!”
18. Dru – Gay guys who claim to be discreet, malayo palang kita mo na ang pilantik ng daliri.
19. Dru – People with expensive laptops hanging out at Starbucks, pero pag tinignan mo, Friendster lang ang sinu-surf.
20. Geyp – Sosy: “Wanna party at Embassy?” Poser: “Sure, I’m in the mood to meet ambassadors!”
21. Smiles-a-lot – I once went out with a sosy girl who ordered wine, then when the drink arrived, said: “Ay, walang ice?”
22. Yunix – Mga todo rockista ang porma, pero pag tinanong mo kung ano pinapakinggan sa ipod — Eminem!
23. Stix – May friend ako araw-araw iba ang kotseng dala sa school. Later we found out, daddy niya pala may-ari ng talyer.
24. Ruelski – A guy with a top of the line DSLR pero pag tinignan mo, naka-full auto mode lang pala.
25. Dexter – I have an officemate who always has the latest phone, pero laging nagpapa-pasa load.
26. Sadakups – Pag pinagmamalaki mong Rusher ka na since 1990.
27. SC – One friend was asking for directions to Greenbelt. Another friend said: “Hello, Greenbelt lang hindi mo pa alam? Katabi ng Greenhills.”
28. Specialist – A sosy girl: “Wanna ride on our yachtboat?”
29. Astroboy – I had a classmate who claimed she knew nothing about local showbiz, pero ang notebook niya: John Lloyd!
30. Jhomar – A friend claims he’s an athiest. Pero pag natatakot, he always says: “Oh my GOD!”
31. Blair – You have an iPhone…pero prepaid naman.
32. Boknoi – I have a new officemate who claims that she is a graduate of UP Manila. Having graduated there myself, I asked her, “O, kumusta naman Padre Faura?”. She replied, “Ahmm, nung huli kaming mag-usap, okay naman daw siya…”
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